Pickup Art: Moral or Immoral

Who is a Pickup Artist?

To understand the Art of Pickup, it is essential to understand the role of a pickup artist. A “pickup artist” is a person who is skilled at seducing women and broadcasts his skills through various seminars and workshops for the young male generation. A pickup artist can also be regarded as a dating coach. The goal of such an artist is to encourage sexual success with women. Pickup Artists are addressed by several names, such as, “Seduction Gurus”, “Dating Gurus” or “Lairs”.

This is a very trendy concept and previously, there were several books explaining the same, such as Laid in India by Dave Besseling, The Art of Erotic Seduction by Albert Ellis, The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene or Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James. These artists study psychology, self-esteem, the importance of physical appearance and social skills. As we are aware of the most commonly used saying, “Practice makes a man perfect”, these artists are known for their practice in succeeding in a romantic interest. A page called The Indian PUA Forum is an online portal with various categories to learn the art as listed below:

The Outer Game

• Opening and Attracting
• Comfort and Rapport Building
• Seduction and Closing
• Routines, Tools and Techniques
• Dating and Hangouts
• Sticking Points and General Questions

In-Field Gaming

• Online and Text Game
• Field Reports
• Lay Reports
• Meet up and Wing

The Inner Game

• Self-development and Spirituality
• Health and Fitness

Related Areas and Off Topics

• Off Topics
• Comments and Suggestions

The Art of Picking Up

Seduction is a psychological game and an artist coaches his believers how to master it. A seducer looks at the world differently. To begin with, a person succeeds at this art only after refining, analyzing, and understanding himself. Seduction is not just about the satisfaction of a desire but about playing with the desire. Most men try and learn this art to keep the spark in their relationships alive. However, there are some men who misuse the said art by thinking of women as objects to play with. Out of the above-mentioned books, the author of the book, The Art of Seduction believes that there are nine types of seducers listed as under:

• The Siren: A woman who is seductive or attracts men through her alluring deeds. The one who causes an immediate impact on a man.
• The Rake: A man who recognizes the needs of a woman and seeks her attention by being compassionate.
• The Ideal Lover: The Ideal Lover makes his partner feel loved and good about themselves. This type of seducer can be called as a Casanova as he makes women want him, he carefully observes a woman’s needs at first and then makes his move based on her desires.
• The Dandy: A dandy gives forbidden freedom to his lover. This quality does not make him aggressive but rather graceful and sophisticated. The male dandy has feminine qualities and the female one has masculine qualities and is often cross-dressed.
• The Natural: This type usually attracts women through his innocence as he is vulnerable, spontaneous, and open about himself. They are charming because they are a combination of adulthood and childhood.
• The Coquette: This type plays hard to get and lead without offering instant satisfaction. Coquettes have targets to create a sense of insecurity.
• The Charmer: Charmers are predators of weakness. The moment they spot a soft corner or find out what triggers the other, they use it to give pleasure and comfort to the victim.
• The Charismatic: Charismatics make people see exactly what they want themselves to look like. They make use of their personality and poise to seduce people.
• The Star: People are attracted to the type because their eloquence fascinates them. This type creates the kind of aura around people making them amenable to reach their targets.

Human courtship is a three-phase model comprising of attraction, mutual comfort, and trust & seduction.

• Attraction can be the desire to converse and build a connection with another person. This is a phase of developing feelings for someone.
• Mutual comfort is a bond of affinity and harmony between two people. It is a mutual feeling felt and experienced by both.
• Trust and seduction go hand in hand as there would be no seduction without trust.

The Downside of a Pickup Artist

There is nothing wrong with an individual trying to build up a healthier relationship with his/her loved one or attempting to develop self-confidence. However, some may use this correctly and some incorrectly. The art of picking up has destroyed more relationships than it has mended; as many partners have started to treat their significant other as an object with a deviant approach.

There can be other ways to fix a relationship or attract someone apart from opting for this practice. Learning this art is not a bad idea, however many lack in the right implementation of it. This skill definitely makes men and women feel confident in their skin but also makes them feel superior to the other and when superiority comes into the picture, respect and responsibilities get flushed down the drain.

There are so many articles that talk about the term “Negging” which in my opinion is a very offensive and more of a negative remark than a compliment which undermines the confidence of a woman. In the modern era, the art of pick up is practiced more by colorful individuals who proclaim to have adequate knowledge about seduction. Pickup artistry can also be linked with the hypnotism of women which sometimes makes them fall prey for situations they would not have otherwise agreed upon.

The seduction community is known for being creepy and is often criticized. In the times of “No means no” and “#Metoo”, the idea of sexual consent is important, however, some men develop so much confidence that sexual consent does not hold as much importance to them, this makes the art unlawful. Few men from the PUA community consider the consent of kissing as a consent for having sex which contaminates the purpose of the art. This contamination makes women face dangerous situations that bring them discomfort. In other words, there is a growing body of evidence that men have been the primary benefactors of women’s sexual and economic liberation, while women’s happiness has declined, despite improvements in objective measures.

Conclusion

It may be wrong to judge such men who would like the idea to feel sexually adequate, however, any practice that endangers the safety of women shall not be practiced at all. In reality, PUA can be very honest and empowering for socially disadvantaged men, just like martial arts can help a little guy or woman learn some tricks to defend oneself against a larger opponent but the incorrect use of such tricks breaches the purpose of the Art as a whole.